La di da di dah

I'm baaack! Ok, I haven't been posting much lately. I do try to keep up with reading the blogs, although I don't always comment.

It's not that I have been in a slump, I just feel very antisocial. I just don't have the energy to explain myself I guess.

For instance, last Saturday was our annual block party. Our house is right int he middle of the block, so basically block party central. Triple S didn't want to go, so we sat inside watching TV in the front room while everyone else was out around the fire it (it was cooold). Our neighbor stopped by before she went in, to give us shit. Well, really, neither of us felt like seeing all the kids running around. It still hurts. I wish it didn't, but it does. And, now, I have got a couple facebook posts from some neighbors, so I think they've all found out that I am pregnant again.

In some ways, I wish I could share this pregnancy with others, but I also feel defensive. Everything is not happy-go-lucky. I am stressed and worried. I really thought that 3 week OB appointments was a bit of overkill, but, gad, the last week I have been so worried that beanie is dead. It's crazy. But the sound of that heartbeat yesterday reset me, so I should be good for another two weeks.

I am going to a chiropractor, in an attempt to fix my back again. I was having massive headaches up the neck and back of my head. Good times.

The cat has diarrhea. I was not aware of this as I am not allowed to clean the litter, but Triple S told me it looked bad, so off tot he vet we went on Monday. Of course, they give us pills - to feed to a cat. A cat that has never ever let us do anything to hi (ie clean his ears - his ears have been dirty for 12 years). Like I said, good times.

I have been doing a lot of lounging. Thank goodness for Robert Jordan. I am just about done re-reading the Wheel of Time series (****nerd alert****) in anticipation of the first 1/3 of the final book being released this month. It's kept me company during that first trimester of nausea and dbm grief and anxiety.

We have been trying to take more pictures, to document this pregnancy too. I feel bad. We just haven't taken that many (of course, beanie has lots of u/s pics already!) I think alot of it has to do with my own vanity. I am faaaaat. My tummy is not a cute little pooch. It's kinda flabby and disgusting. So, poor beanie will have few early-pregnancy pics in his album.

As winter approaches, I am thinking to start up a scrap book for beanie. I didn't start on when I was pregnant with Serenity, but I did want to do a 'baby' one for her, so I had an album and papers all ready for all her 'firsts'. After she died (I guess that was a first - and a last) I started an album on her pregnancy. It is still 'started'. I was thinking I could work on them both at the same time. However, I am not sure that is a good idea. What do you think? But, anyway, I want to start beanie's before too long. I've got the table out - that's progress right?

Well, these ramblings are progress. Maybe I will come out of my protective shell. Maybe not. Or, more than likely, just here.