Out of shape

I feel like I am out of blogging shape! What to say? Where to start?

How about another kind of out of shape?

I am losing weight. This is definitely something I don't talk about IRL! I hate being out of shape!

Right now I am the weight at which I started Serenity's pregnancy. I never could lose the weight after Serenity's death - just too much else going on and eating way too much.

Now I am eating healthfully. I want to be a good example for Beanie, so I better get it right before she notices my bad habits and sedentary life.

I think the biggest thing that has made a difference is cutting out dairy. I am a total addict and love rich, fatty whole-milk yogurt and cheese, cheese cheese! Milk seemed to bother my stomach during the last third of Bea's pregnancy, so I stopped drinking milk, but was still eating yogurt and hard cheeses (thinking it was the lactose). But Bea has really bad spit up and I thought maybe I should really cut out dairy. Much to dh's surprise, that even includes butter. Yes, dear, really. No, dear, it's not a good idea to buy Julia Child's cookbook (we just saw Julie & Julia - the infertility parts were very nicely done) since everything uses ample amounts of butter and cream is right up there too.

I just realized last night (maybe two-three weeks after dairy-free) that Bea's cradle cap is gone. The spit up also seems better. And the eczema I have had for 15 years is lessening. I guess I should have cut out dairy when I cut out wheat, way back in '98...

The other thing I am doing that is helping me shed pounds is walking. Well, haven't gone yet this week due to other commitments and the fact that it is blazing hot out and thunderstorming IN THE MORNING! But, most days Bea, the mutt, and I go for a two-mile stroll around our nearby park. We walk by the pavilion where we had Serenity's memorial service. Seeing it produces a small pang, which is mitigated by knowing that summer concerts are held there, during which the place teems with life.

I think I should go to the YMCA on these warm days. But I just don't want to leave Bea at the tot watch! I'd be running up the stairs every 10 min.

I want to lose at least 15, maybe even 20, more pounds. And I want to do it before next July. I think I can, with the help of breastfeeding. Send me willpower!