Triple S said last night that he was tired of of feeling like his life was on hold. I think the mud is finally starting to dry, and we can stop spinning our wheels and get out of this rut.
This last weekend, I started watching some HGTV again. We live in an old house, and will probably have to move (for Triple S' career) again in a few years. We've done numerous house projects, from painting to insulating. Last summer, Triple S stripped the lead paint in the bathroom and stained the old wood. We missed out on doing fun things last summer because every weekend he was in there. I couldn't help and was banished from the room. He regrets spending so much time during the pregnancy on "crap." (I was sewing a playmat quilt - I have about 6 inches of the edging to finish hand stitching...)
Well, for me, interest in HGTV was a sign that I am thinking about taking on projects again. That the grief is not so overwhelming that it is paralyzing me. That I have some energy again. I suggested a few VERY small projects to Triple S, and he was into it (EVERY project has been like pulling his teeth for the last five years). I couldn't have cared less about any house issues a few months ago (our yard and my garden are sure testiments to my lack of motivation).
I haven't baked much, I haven't sewn, I havn't done my scrapbook. All the things I used to enjoy were completely uninteresting to me. But I am starting to think about them again. I am emerging...
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7 comments:
I am glad your interests are sounding interesting to you again. It gets tiring to focus on just our grief, and these hobbies are great outlets to distract us. Glad to hear about this new place you are in.
I'm glad to hear this. . .
For me, it was the day that I could fathom a grocery list, and it was a grocery list without kleenex on it.
It's a good feeling. I like the word emerge.
glad for you too... ...
House projects are my emerging thing too. I have lists all over. Outside projects, inside projects, projects we have bought the supplies for, projects we need to save money for...
Little steps, hun. Just thinking about real life stuff again is a good step.
xo
Good to hear. Exactly like you, I could tell I was doing a little better when I could watch HGTV again.
I had an idea my old self was emerging when I made pancakes for Sunday breakfast again, something I had always enjoyed but just couldn't do for the longest time.
I'm glad to hear you are thinking about some of these things again. Surely, it will only be a matter of time before you do one of them again, and then another. You will emerge. I look forward to reading about it.
I was watching CNN International yesterday, and caught a glimpse of the Larry King show 'Change your Mind, Change your Life.'
It was so great to read about how we essentially have the capacity to change ourselves, our thoughts, and even our brains.
"People can fundamentally change." They talked about putting positive thoughts, and things in your life each day, every day; waking up and saying for instance 'I love and accept myself just the way I am'. In essence, "thoughts are there to create reality."
I hope you can soon enjoy each day as a new day!
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