I am waking up nearly every night around 3 AM. This has been going on since before I knew I was pregnant. Maybe I am incubating a nightowl.
Once I wake up, and I am often WIDE awake, instantly, almost like I had been startled awake, my mind starts going. Everything is so vivid at the time, yet now I can barely recall it.
I also think I end up half asleep, with nightmares that I can remember.
Last night I dreamt that my baby was having seizures. I had an acquaintance several years ago whose son was born and all was fine. When I first met him, I thought he didn't make much eye contact, but I didn't really know what to expect from a newborn (he was less than 3 months at that point). He was seriously attached to his mother and would cry when anyone else held him, and would cry for hours when left at daycare. She started to notice that he had a weird tightening of his arms, and then noticed that it occured every 20 min. She took him to the doc. He was having seizures every 20 min. They did a brain scan and found that he didn't have most of his brain. The doctors couldn't even understand how he was alive, how his basic body functions were even being controlled. He would never interact with anyone, and they doubted he would live for long. I don't know what happened to him, if he continues to live.
In one way, it is amazing how the body can adapt, and with less than half of a developed brain, the body can still function. However, and even more so, it is scary and heartless.
I don't know why I am telling you all this. It's not like we really need anything else to worry about.
*****
Wednesday is the appointment with a first look ultrasound. I have to get a list together of things to discuss with the doctor. I hope to keep it reasonable (I will probably omit "Can you tell if babies are having seizures in the womb?")
Triple S has taken to saying good night and good morning to macadamia everyday. I know he/she can't hear daddy yet, but I think it is sweet.
We met on Friday with the chaplain from the hospital. I hope to help improve their handouts and resources for moms who loose their babies.
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4 comments:
I think it's quite common to wake up while pregnant. I started waking up at about 4 am for an hour. It did go away.
Hang in there Macadamia. We are so looking forward to meeting you!
I wake up every night/morning around 4 and am also WIDE awake. I usually eat something, cuz, why the hell not, I'm up, and then watch tv till I fall back asleep. With my other two who are here, I found that they woke up around the same time that I did while pg, to nurse. Seems you may have a buddy joing you in the wee hours soon enough:)
I love the idea of new handouts, ours were so old and dated I was shocked, well as shocked as I could be given what had happened and the amount of narcotices I was on, that the hospital didn't have better info for us.
Yeah I notice that baby is most active around 9pm until I go to sleep, and then I wake up at approx. 3:30 or 4am every morning, blow my nose, pee, and try to go back to sleep. Rinse and repeat at about 6 or 7am. then again at 9 if I get to sleep in that long.
I too can't wait to see macadamia. And I think it's awesome that triple S talks to his baby already. C is getting there, this morning he spoke french to our baby. And we got to hear the heartbeat again today so maybe he feels a little more connected..
I was the same way, when I was pregnant with Ethan. I had the most, bizarre dreams. It can be the pregnancy hormones.
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