to all of you for so bluntly springing my BFP on you. I was just really freaked out. As I think my previous posts allude, I was not exactly ready to get pregnant. This is the same exact thing that happened with Serenity. So, although I do follow several blogs of folks that suffer through conception difficulties, Triple S and I are apparently a stud and a fertile Myrtle, respectively.
I think I will continue to blog on just this blog, although I am tossing a new name around in my head. I will continue with one blog because this is my life, one continuity. My life and love for my first child is neither separate nor can it be compartmentalized from my life and love for my family now. She is part of me and she is part of this.
When I first joined DB Blogland, I chose not to follow several bloggers that were at the point of trying again. As time passed, I added a few folks, mainly based on what and how they wrote, and how they commented, which is a very important part of blogging for me. I did follow a few bloggers with subsequent pregnancies, thinking of them as inspiration and as a guide for what I can "look forward" to. Well, now here I am, and let me tell you, I am totally freaked out. My emotions go from elated to anxiety-stricken in a flash. Perhaps the constant is that Triple S is so unbelievably happy. That buoys me and I hope it gives him the strength that he will surely need to see me through this.
I have been spending some time loking for a doctor, a pregnancy supporter with some medical training, and some information for my own self-care. The information I know now is a doube-edged sword. I keep wishing I had known it with Serenity; maybe this blog would then be called "She Made It." It hurts to know that this information was out there, and I just didn't know about it.
I am facing this pregnancy with hope. I know I am not out of the woods, that my child, my macadamia, will always be in danger, will always face some risk, whether here in my womb or out there on the street. I guess I've "seen it all" here on the blogs: chemcial pregnancy, miscarriage, subsequent stillbirths. My hope is that I can enjoy this preganncy as best as I can, that I can stay calm, give macadamia a nice life, and show him or her unfettered love. Who knows, maybe it's even twins...
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12 comments:
Speaking for myself, you have no reason to apologize. If any of your readers are uncomfortable reading about your pregnancy, they can choose not to read, but you shouldn't change anything you write.
You sound like you're in a really healthy headspace!
Oh Sweetie:
there is no need to apologize. None. When I see situations like this, it's like watching a kid at a track meet, vs. an Olympian.
Sure, I'm happy when anyone gets pregnant. I'm thrilled when a fellow DB Mum conceives. That is the gold medal. I know how painful and hard we work.
And I couldn't be happier for you. Truly, couldn't.
Ya Chun,
There is no need to apologize. I can assure you I doubt there are any readers for whom this would be an issue. You give me inspiration to TTC again. I am sincerely happy for you and am praying for a healthy pregnancy and a healthy living baby at the end. Try to relax. Breathe. And enjoy this pregnancy.
I know how you feel. Literally. I am right there with you.
No need for apologies, Ya Chun. It's the way it rolls in dbl. Wishing you only the best, hon. Only the best.
I totally get wanting to keep the blog the same, I felt that way too. A continuation. They are intertwined the two lives of the one one that got away and the one we hope will stay.
The hope is a great thing, I will hope right along side you, if you don't mind:)
Here's to a very uneventful pg and a very happy, healthy wee one in your arms at the end of the road.
xxoo
Congratulations! (Even if I'm not supposed to use that word!)
Take care, and don't worry about telling us or not telling us. I personally assume that it can happen this way anytime a woman has lost a baby.
I think most of us understand this, quite well. Especially those of us in the same boat, who are pregnant again after a loss. Or many losses. There are a million things to deal with when you become pregnant again, and we're here to help you. You can ask me anything. It's not the easiest road to travel down. There is doubt, fear, regret, worry that you feel when you think you might be somehow "replacing" the one you lost, even though you know in your heart that can never happen.
I'm wishing you the very best, and I hope everything goes as smoothly as possible. And just like I said to clc I'm here for you if you need to talk.
Oh hun, you don't have to apologize. This is a natural step in this shitty path we are all on together. You should keep on writing here, I can't imagine anything different. I will be here with you, holding your hand if you want it.
xo
g
No need to apologize, as others have said.
I am so happy for you! :-)
and I just tagged you for a meme on my blog. heh
Congratualtions this is wonderful news and I am pleased to hear how positive and excited you sound. Look forward to hearing about little one becoming big one.
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