What I really want to say is that I had sushi last night! Really, I wanted to go for sushi every week for the last 4 or 5 weeks. I cried over this at one point. Well, really, not being able to go out for the sushi that night just started a train of thoughts that went something like this:
"I never get what I want"
which led to
"Because I want my baby!" and
"I can't have her"
and then I started crying.
But I also did really want sushi.
I got it. And it was yummy and made me melancholic instead of terribly sad.
It was bittersweet, because I probably wouldn't have risked eating sushi while breastfeeding.
Yesterday I also found out that I have a Strep-B infection. It must be in my blood because I only had blood work done. It is kind of funny, considering my OB told me I was negative two weeks before Serenity died in my womb... and how the autopsy said the "slight infection" likely did not contribute to her death...and why didn't my OB order any bloodwork after reading the autopsy report...? I have probably been walking around with this infection for 7 or 8 weeks. No wonder my lower abdomen still is achy. I am on antibiotics and I hope this clears it up.
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2 comments:
Ugh sorry for the rough afternoon with the jackhole... I mean boss. It's like it's not hard enough what we have to go through, but insensitive people just addd to the disappointment.
Mmm sushi. I went through similiar feelings when we finally went out and had some. I was happy to have it, sad that I was having it.
Make sure you are advocating for yourself with your OB. I felt like mine was scared of me, of the bad that I represented and I had a crappy experience health wise.
Well, I found out about the infection cause I went to a new family doctor, so had the full work up. She's very thorough- she spends AN HOUR with each new patient. I have seen her twice in two weeks and will go again in another two weeks. At one of these appointments that doesn't have so many immediate health issues, I will ask her for a recommendation to a new OB for when we decide to TTC.
thanks g.
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