Memories of love

I just came here to check on my comments. That's it. I am having a fine day, full of a doctors appointment, an x-ray and bloodwork, errands and a trip to the Uni to get some info for the course I am teaching (microbiology for those who would ask).

After arriving home, I set to work on finding some essays from which to write assignments for the students. Delightful time to read some beautiful science writing. I hopped back here to the computer to check for an email on which I am waiting. Not here, so I thought I'd check in with my blog.

After reading the two comments from fellow John Denver fans, the song just popped into my head. And I remembered why I chose it for the memorial service.

Love is hard to define, but you know it when you feel it. And you surely know it when you loose it.

The pain of my grief is less turbulent, less disruptive. Like a body of water, it is calm, and looks soothing and, since it is crystal clear, safe. It even has a layer on top, that layer of surface tension that allows a water bug to skim about, disturbing the pond's absolute tranquility. The pool looks inviting. However, if I even dare to stick my toe into this well of grief, it boils, and roils and spews, it scalds and freezes. The slightest dip hurts, not from without, but from the core of my being. Mostly, it makes me sob.

Perhaps everything from this point in my life will go swimmingly; I may find contentment, happiness and joy at every turn. But my deepest memory of love will always be of Serenity. My most painful memory will be her death.


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I went to my family doctor today for a follow up on my back pain. I think she adjusted at least 80% of my vertebrate (she's also a chiropractor - a perfect combo for me). No wonder I was in so much pain. My hips were out, my thoracic, and my neck.

We also went over the blood work, the same results I had handed to my new OB at our first appointment. She said my TSH was a bit high (a sign of hypothyroidism). This runs in my family (although I didn't know this until my sister was having dizzy spells when she stood up a few years back AND THEN we found out that my father's mother and sister have been on thyroid medicine for years). What's the point of having a family history if the family doesn't tell you the history (like it is a shameful secret to be on thyroid pills). I didn't even know those grandparents had false teeth until I was, like, 17. Anyway, irate rant there.

So, my TSH levels were at 4.25, which is still less than the "threshold" number that LabCorp prints on their sheet, a 4.5. But my doc said that anything over 3 is actually abnormal and warrants a low dose medicine. Well, since I needed to have some other bloodwork done, we decided to repeat it and I will point it out to the OB next Friday.

So, here I am consulting Dr. Google. I type in 'TSH above 3', and this is the article at the top of my search. Note the date at the top.

I just want to say the my family doctor is really up on things! Now I have to go read what hypothyroidism is all about and maybe if diet does anything (I seem to think not, but hey, I'll check). I also wonder how this will affect macademia. I am going to try not to worry about the last time........