Drives are Great for Talkin'

I have been looking forward to today for about 5 months. Today was the native plant sale at a local nature reserve. Multiple vendors come from all over the state to sell their natives. All of my gardening is natives or edibles (except for the gerber daisies I plant in the front porch boxes and plants inherited with the property).

Triple S had a tough week because his coworker's baby shower was today. His boss always hosts the showers after the baby is safely here, because one of her technicians had a stillborn son about 10 years ago. We never had a 'work' shower, and he wanted nothing to do with it today (although he did contribute towards the group gift). So, he planned his day to be over before the shower and came home early. Poor guy. He drove out to the reserve with me.

As we drove through the verdant tree-lined roads, we talked. Triple S feels he received pity at work (short-lived as it was) but little compassion from most of his coworkers (the one who lost her first son and another who had four miscarriages and is now childless have been great - those who get it). For some reason, so many people lack true compassion and empathy.

There seems to be a subtle difference between pity and compassion.

We also talked about a recent story I heard on NPR. It was about the case in Iowa that has legalized gay marriage there. The lawyer that brought the case put into words something that I have always felt but haven't been able to coalesce into a decent paraphrase (Aside from the fact that I identify as a flaming liberal). Basically, this lawyer has worked for years to bring equal rights for LBG to marry. But, she's straight. And the interviewer asked her why she worked to do this. What she said rings so true. I translate it now into my own thoughts. I don't want to see people enslaved, or tattooed to be filed into camps, or treated unfairly or lacking in rights that so many others take for granted. And like the white abolitionists of the North leading up to the Civil War, I am not content living in a society that doesn't offer rights to some but not all, such as accepting that true love can exist between two men or two women. Any two people of adult age should be able to marry, and enjoy all the legal rights and take on all the legal responsibilities of that institution. Triple S retorted that this kind of thinking requires compassion, something we've already seen that so many people lack.

After our deep car conversation, we arrived at the sale, where Triple S helped me carry the plants. I finally found the witch hazel I have been waiting for - I got an Ozark witch hazel for myself and a Virginia for my neighbor ($15 bucks each -a bargain! others I saw at nurseries as high as $120!). This made my day, and made Triple S happy and light because I am happy (he spoils me). Since I saved so much on the witch hazel, I bought several other shade-loving plants for our 'woodland' garden, under our dogwood tree. On the way home, I treated my dear hubby to BBQ, which made him extremely happy.

I am so glad that the days are getting longer. We arrive home and I puttered around in my garden some, planting more basil, sage, calendula, and even risking some gerber daisies. Unfortunately, I was so excited to take care of my posies that I let the dog eat the leftovers. So, I guess I made her happy today too.

I have a wish for this Sunday, and that is to go hunt out a bird feeder for my office window. Other than that, MD is not really bothering me that much. I think that how much I have been looking forward to the plant sale this weekend has outshone the holiday glaring at me on the calender. I sent my mom some generic card, because I didn't want to read too many and because I don't feel like she has really been all that supportive. Well, she doesn't say too many unsupportive things, and I don't try to talk to her about anything anymore anyway.

For all of you out there, I wish you a peaceful and safe Mother's Day. I hope those near you find the ability to feel compassion. May you handle it with grace and may your heart be filled with love.

And please, go give love to my IRL friend who just miscarried her son's little sibling.