6 x 6

1 | In a word, how would you characterize yourself before your loss, and then after?

Before: Naive
After: Troubled


2 | How do you feel around pregnant women?

Trepidatious, melancholy, hopeful. It's a mixed bag of jumbled up emotions.


3 | How do you answer the 'how many children' question?

None with me. Usually stops that line of conversation.
"Do you have any kids" often gets a "not yet", probably because that was the habitual answer before this.


4 | How did you explain what happened to your lost baby to your living children? Or, if this was your first pregnancy, will you tell future children about your first?

Yes, I will tell Serenity's younger sibling(s) about her. But we will try not to compare, because Serenity, I am sure, will be idealized (by us).


5 | What would another pregnancy mean to you, and how would you get through it—or are you done with babymaking?

I don't know what another pregnancy will mean. Are we masochistic, maybe? Maybe that we are hopeful and willing to try again. That we won't give up. I hope that we are not too worried and that we can enjoy the development of our second child with some pure happiness. I think we will be more careful. I will buy a kick counter and we probably will also get a heart doppler. We'll be those kind of expectant parents.


6 | Imagine being able to step back in time and whisper into the ear of your past self the day after your baby died. What would you say?

Hold her longer, take more pictures. Or, maybe nothing. I don't think I have any wise words for this. You just have to go through it. And I think I was mentally there when we found out. I knew I just had to get through her delivery.