Memorial Day

Memorial Day may traditionally recognize those soldiers who lost their lives serving our country, but in my family it also a day to spruce up the graves and take flowers to our deceased family members. My grandmother, who is 89, does this, so it must be ok. Of course, she takes flowers to her parent's and many older relatives. She also takes flowers to her daughter's site, who died as a toddler to diabetes.

I never thought that I would outlive my daughter. But I have.

My other grandmother, who died last year, never really got through her grief over the death of my uncle at age 40. Her favorite phrase was "parents shouldn't outlive their children". I never thought that there was a hard and fast rule of the universe about this. So when we lost Serenity, I vowed to not fall into this and to continue living my life to honor Serenity. Also, I feel like I have to live for her, because she cannot experience this life anymore. So I am living. I take enjoyment from nature, and the natural world includes kids and the wonder they have as they experience the world and discover themselves and their surroundings.

Well, since today is a good day to memorialize those who have gone before us, I am sharing with you our Serenity's resting place here with us. This is a shelf in the study-come-nursery-come empty room that is kind of a sitting room but that noone sits in and we basically just go into when we need to room. Or when we need to say hi to Serenity.



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Her urn is surrounded by photos of our grandparents. Only three of them are still with us. The crystal butterfly is from dh's cousins, who are just 10 and 11. One of the wallet cards that we have given out is also there. On the back are the lyrics to IZ's "Over the Rainbow"

Her English name and birthdate are carved into the wood on the top of the urn.

The plaque on front is her Chinese name: "Family name" Yi Qian. It is a very beautiful name in Chinese and means "with modesty". The smaller characters on the left are both dh's and my Chinese names. On the right is her birthdate. I am so happy to have this plaque for her. DH's family sent it to us from Taiwan. It was quite an ordeal to get everything correct on this.

I wanted to share this and MD is a good day for it. This is a very special place for me. I don't go here or even glance at it very often, but I know it is here. It is where Serenity Joy physically is, but she is always with me in my heart and my mind and my soul.