must be good news.
Just riding the waves of sunshine here.
I gardened ALL day on Saturday. Jeez I was sore.
I gardened a bit more on Sunday. Then went with friends to brunch. Then met other friends to go hiking in a local wildflower preserve. Aside from dh allergies and my achy back, it was super enjoyable. Busy and exhausting though.
But hey, I am only 3 months postpartum. Hiking for 4 hours will wear anyone out at that stage. Especially considering I am having all these back issues. But after all that movement I was much more limber today and the physical therapist could actually do some treatments. YEAH!
I also must say, I got a call today telling me that I got accepted into a summer writer's workshop. Double YEAH!
I've realized that maybe weekends are more difficult than weekdays. I am really sad alot on the weekends. I was really looking forward to this spring and showing my baby all the flowers in the garden, ya know teaching her the latin names and which ones you can eat and which ones you want to pull out of the flowers! Instead, my husband and I planted a garden for Serenity. A nice shady place under our dogwood tree. Full of native plants with all kinds of interesting leaves and flowers.
The sun has been out and our spirits are ok. We are just so sad to be without Serenity Joy. To be back to our old life and not on a new adventure.
We are moving forward while carrying our love for our missing daughter with us. I don't fear leaving her behind because I know I will always ache for her. I will always feel her absence, a hole in my heart, a regret. I will stop and smell the gladiolas for her.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
She Almost Made It/ SerenityJoy by Leung Ya Chun (AKS) is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Serenity Joy almost made it into this world alive, but almost doesn't count. Her little sister did make it.
When we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that's present -- love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature and personal pursuits that bring us pleasure -- the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience Heaven on earth.
-Sarah Ban Breathnach
She almost made it
Blog Resources
Posts
This material is copyrighted
Blog Archive
-
▼
2008
(180)
-
▼
May
(20)
- Stick Figure Families
- Exercise Video Recommendation
- A poem for your enjoyment
- Hanging on to what I can
- Memorial Day
- It's Official
- Who, me?
- For deadbabymamas everywhere
- No post
- MISS
- Resilience
- And this next song is dedicated to...
- 6 x 6
- No, I am not keeping score... well maybe a little
- Peace
- More medical appointments
- Three months
- Spring... finally
- Have I changed?
- Train Wreck
-
▼
May
(20)
Who, Where?
- March 2010 - Beanie makes it
- July 2009 - BFP
- December 12, 2008 - We finally take our 'honeymoon' vacation
- September 18, 2008 - D & C
- Septermber 12, 2008 - no heartbeat
- August 27, 2008 - 'indeterminate' u/s
- August 17, 2008 BFP - Double holy freakout!
- June 30, 2008 - Official last day of employment with stupevisor
- February 13, 2008 - Serenity's due date
- February 6, 2008 - Serenity is delivered
- It's a girl!
- June 11, 2007 - BFP - holy freakout!
- April 2007 - 'Hey, let's stop trying to not get pregnant'
- July 2003 - We move to the Midwest
- May 25, 2002 - Our third and final wedding
- December 23, 2001 - Our second wedding
- December 13, 2001 - Our first wedding
- August 1998 - Triple S and Ya Chun meet
She Almost Made It/ SerenityJoy by Leung Ya Chun (AKS) is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
3 comments:
The sunshine and spring is bittersweet isn't it? It's nice to feel "better" again, but all the dreams we had for how it SHOULD be right now, crushed. That part eats at the edges. I wish I was worrying about keeping bugs off a baby, instead of just myself.
Last year we had all these images. I wonder if when we get pregnant again, we won't have that pot of gold feeling again. Probably not.
Grats on getting into the workshop! What does that mean? :)
It's a two week workshop to have others read and critique your writing. I want to do science writing like the old time essayists. Since it is a full two weeks, it means i get to quit my job! Hopefully I can find another one for after that.... or win the lottery.
I think you can feel happy and hopeful and look for the future that you want when you are preggo again. I think it is right to enjoy the next pregnancy. Your second child deserves it. Sure, you will be sad too and sure more worried and more cautious. I know I will be. I can't wait til you are pregnant!!! I will be so excited and happy!
(Man, someone is slipping happy pills into my water or something...)
We have a few RL friends who also lost babies. One told us it will be hard. But she did it. She has 3 daughters now. Her first one was a boy. So sad too, always missing your son as an individual and as the only boy.
Also, IRL, our counselor specializes in fertility and women's issues, so she always has lots of examples for different things that we bring up . I dont know how a "regular" counselor would compare, but I kind of like that extended network feeling.
Anyway, I just made a really long comment on my own blog! haha
"I will stop and smell the gladiolas for her."
I love this. If it can't be her (and I am so sorry it can't), there isn't anybody better.
Congrats on the workshop!
Post a Comment