4 of 12

Tomorrow marks our fourth month without Serenity.

Tomorrow I have a seminar to present. I thought when they scheduled me that "Sure, the 6th is no problem". Why did i think that? Now, I am afraid it will be a problem. I felt it starting today. I have just been off-kilter all day.

Add on to that the fact that my departure will probably come out tomorrow in the meeting. My immediate group knows, but this is the second ring of coworkers. Most of them are close friends that I have known for the last four and a half years I have worked there. I was new to the job and we were new to this city, so most of my friends are coworkers (or former coworkers). That is not going to help me maintain my "composure". Add onto it that I need to stand in front of a group and talk. At least I have already given one tour since being back to work and got over most of the public-speaking anxiety.

My plan tonite- listen to all of the memorial songs, look at our pictures, and cry my heart out.

Triple S and I miss Serenity to depths too deep to describe with words.

My heart aches for her. My whole being aches for her.

4th of 12. Then I can start counting by year instead of month.