Triple S, the mutt, and I went for a walk tonite, after the temperature finally went below 90 F.
I was quite chatty about all of my money-making scheme ideas since, ya know, I am soon to be unemployed.
We were walking along the sidewalk and I saw a little bird dead in front of us. I tried to get Triple S's attention and pull him out of the bee-line to the birdie. Both he and the dog were clueless to what lay before them. I couldn't get him out of the way in time, and he saw it just in time to miss it. However, the bird reanimated and started chirping. It was a baby robin, who must have fallen out of the tree above.
Triple S and I froze in shock. A little baby birdie. Hurt.
We walked on, guilt and shame weighing heavier on us than the heat and humidity.
I don't know what to do with a little baby birdie. I can't smash its head in to end its suffering. I can't throw it in an alley dumpster. We all know we can't control mother nature. Do we let nature take its course?
Someone once told me that a mother bird will abandon any birdie that has fallen out of its nest. Nature has evolved them to cut their losses and move on. Their is no attachment parenting in the robin's world.
Our walk remained dismal, both of us lost in our own thoughts. I thought about attachment parenting, and a recent post at Dr C's.
Have you ever seen anyone in an old early 20th century photo smiling? They all look grim. My grandmother is of this breed. Our family isn't all lovey-dovey, doesn't say "love you", we don't hug alot.
Maybe this is because babies died at such high rates back in their day. My grandmother lost her third child. She was always reserved. Maybe this was really distance, distance to protect herself from the inevitable hurt that would come from losing another child. Generations of detachment parenting.
**edited**
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4 comments:
It makes me wonder how detached they really were, though. I mean, are we no different as people? The pain of losing a child is deep. I can't imagine it being that way for my grandmother who lost a child, too (twins, in fact). Society may be more tolerant of us mourning these babies now. Maybe that is the difference?
There's this picture of my grandmother and her brothers - two of whom died in war. They all look grim, like they might know that a handful of years later, that picture would have less of them. Except my grandmother, she has this little smirk and twinkle in her eye. I like to think she is smirking at me. Sorry, sidetracked but this post reminded me of that photo.
My family doesn't hug and say I love you either. I am ok with it. In my own marriage though, we do that lots.
You are right, old pictures always look grim. I often think about what if we lived in a different era. Would I have tried again? Would I have failed again already? Would I still be crying over this? Who knows.
Yeah, I don't have a conclusion for this idea yet. Detachment is not right, but maybe hardened?
I think back then I would probably already be in the family way again- no birth control... how hard on your body, spirit, emotions must that have been?
I don't think it was so different then than now, just like I kinda doubt women were working in the field the day after delivery.
A relative told me this April that when my Aunt died at 3, no one could mention her name in front of my grandmother for about 3 years without her busting into tears. I don't think I have ever seen my Gram cry. And she is, well not distant from everyone, but just talks about the weather and the gossip, and we were seen and not heard. I never even knew I had another aunt until maybe junior or senior year.
Maybe they just looked grim because they hadn't dealt with the emotions with their hardships?
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