I think we have to cancel N3t*Flix

Every week we get one movie in the mail.

Triple S and I like insightful, often indie or foreign movies. Movies with heart or meaning that use fiction to reveal human nature, or the human condition. Most are heavy or sad, really stir your emotions, or make you think.

When Serenity died, I did a media shut down. I couldn't take the noise of a laugh track or the background of an audience. The TV wasn't turned on in my presence for a week, maybe two or three. The radio was on the classic channel for many days, at a volume almost imperceptible.

When Triple S and I started watching our weekly movies again, I realized I couldn't take anything with kids. Whether it was a comedy of parents griping about their kids, a sad story involving kids or a plucky movie with a child hero. So, we shuffled up the queue, however, to no avail. I have cried at just about every decent movie we have seen.

I was never much of a crier. I cried maybe, three times a year. I've cried at some movies. I cried the first time I saw Sch.indler's list and Life is Beautiful, yes I did. But most movies and most things in my life, are just things I can handle. I analyze them, they make me think, I see the world differently after a great movie. Maybe I compartmentalize.

Now, I have endured real tragedy. Maybe my emotions are so raw, or close to the surface, that the faintest scratch sets them free. Maybe I feel love, the loss of love, the hope of love, the good the bad, all more strongly, more poignantly, more dearly.

Maybe these movies I have seen recently are not really that great, but I truly do think that they are. Here are a few that you may find artful, touching, and tissue-requiring.

D@n IRL. with S. Carrell. Saw this one tonite. Super sweet, kinda quirky with an absolutely wonderful soundtrack. Yep, cried my eyes out.

The Twilight Samurai. Wow. Yep, cried my eyes out.

Babel. Little girl hurting due to her mother's death. Good movie (I was put-off with Brad Pitt, but liked the movie more than I thought I would)

Man on Fire. Little girl getting used by her Dad. Just not right.

So Triple S thought some dumb comedies might help. We tried Ad@m San.dler. Can't say I have really like any of his movies. Chuck and Larry no exception. Just not my thing.

Our neighbors loaned us T@ledega Nights. Will F#rr#ll has made some movies that don't drive me crazy, and have some funny parts. Actually, I really like that one about him having an author write his life (also made me cry) . But pokin' fun at ignert rednecks that still manage to reproduce, yeah, not so carefree for me.


I guess I have to stick with documentaries. Wh0 Killed the E car? Yeah, pisses me off, but I didn't cry. The US vs J0hn Lenn0n. Wow, is that real? Who slant is this from? Well, actually I do think I cried after that one. Maybe I just have to stick with Ath0ny Bourdain and N0 Reser.vations. Love the jaded chef that eats and drinks and smokes. Gad, I love to eat, why can't I be as skinny as him? I enjoy this show and I think it really shows you how people live around the world. I have had the fortune to go to two foreign countries (well, I have been in CA, but Niagara and can't say that really reflects the whole of CA) After just about every AB, NR show, Triple S and I look at each other and say, "I want to go there." This show makes me think: about resource distribution, about food waste, and about, well lots of things. Food and culture are so intricately linked.

There is one aspect of this that I often think about and that Triple S and I have discussed on countless occasions. It is something indicative of, well, an individual's personality, or fear of differences. What I am going to tell you is one thing that Triple S and I love and respect so much about each other. It maybe one of the main foundations of our love.

I grew up in a meat and potatoes family. My dad wants his beef four or five times a week. He tolerates fish or chicken or pork once a week. Ok, so maybe he eats beef 6 days a week. Then, one side is potatoes and the other is one of a limited number of boiled veggies slathered with butter, salt and pepper. l grew up eating this too, and my mom is a great cook. There are only two dishes I didn't like growing up: liver and left over ham 'n scalloped potatoes. Yes, on day one scalloped potatoes are a super yummy comfort food, but, please, please don't ask me to eat them the next day.

Anyway, I grew up with, let's say, a limited range of foods. I grew up in the country, where there were few restaurants and nearly everything I ate was cooked by mom or a relative.

Once I got to grad school, and to a bigger town, and had some coins to rub together in my pocket, I became exposed to new foods. I studied in an agricultural field, so many of my classmates were from outside the US, from countries that still rely more heavily on agricultural development. Many were from South America, China, Africa, Turkey. They would share their food with us. I first had sushi, Cuban, Creole, wow, everything. Triple S would cook an Asian or Panamanian dish. I still remember that first time her opened a jar of fermented black bean paste in front of me. I took one smell of that said "please, I want to try it, but use such a small spoon of it to flavor the dish because it really, really stinks." Well, the dish that he made with that stinky black bean sauce has become what I call his signature dish. It is my favorite and we eat it probably every 2 or 3 weeks. He still likes to jab me about that.

Triple S and I love to try new things. We'll go into an ethnic store, and buy something without any idea of what it is or how to cook it. We have very opened and unstuck palates.

One day, I realized that this is not the norm. My dad. Poor dad. He likely starves at my house. We eat rice every night. My dad slathers his rice with butter, salt and pepper. The first time Triple S saw this he almost feel off his chair. Rice is not a conduit for butter, salt and pepper. They have reached an understanding. My dad will try stuff, and Triple S will cook rice and provide butter.

I am actually quite proud of my dad. Serenity died right at Chinese New Year. We had planned to celebrate the holiday with Triple S's parents (they had arrived a week before her due date) by cooking hot pot. Since his parents live in Central America, it is just too hot to eat hotpot, a great winter dish. Well, I was just home from the delivery, and on New Year's we had a scrumptious hot pot night. My parents were there, too, unexpectedly, of course. Well, my mom and dad used chopsticks and tried hotpot. My dad didn't hate it.

So, anyway, it's not only meat-and-potato folks that have fixed palates. In my career, most of my coworkers are foreigners. I have met people from evey continent that won't try anything new. They have never eaten American food, and they pretty much don't even want to try it. I guess they are curry-and-beans folks, or rice-and-greens folks, or whatever is the equivalent to a meat-and-potatoes guy.

I remember the time a Japanese friend introduce us to Natto. This is fermented soybeans that, when you pick it up in your chopstick, looks pretty much like stringy snot and has quite a strong odor. Well, he was eating it, so it must not be toxic, so what the heck, we tried it. And loved it. I have also eaten Chou Do Fu, which is stinky tofu, which is a dish that some of my Chinese friends have never even tried.

I am just grateful that my palate never became fixed. I am not stuck. I'll try it. Almost all of it. I will admit, I have drawn my line at chicken feet. It just seems like a lot of work to get a little skin from all those bones. And the nails are still on the darn things. Bleh.

Food, culture, identity, commonalty. These are the things I think of when someone offers me a dish that their mom taught them to cook. That we were invited over to experience. It warms my heart thinking that my friend is sharing with me something that is so special to them, that reminds them of home, of a meal lovingly prepared by their mother, grandmother, or even father. I am honored to try it.

This love, respect, sense of adventure, and willingness to be exposed to other cultures were all things we wanted to teach Serenity. She would have been a wonderful cook.

I started with movies, and ended with food. The common link is that I think that we inhabitants of this planet are more similar than dissimilar. Great fiction, even in the form of a movie, speaks across time and culture, just like great food speaks of the long evolution of a people, their culture. These foods are accessible and palatable to all of us. The sharing of a great story, or a special dish, or a song sung in a language that you don't understand, convey the commonalities of the human condition.

**If you actually made it to the end of this novel, please take the time to leave a comment. Let me know what you think, agree/disagree, even a story of your own that relates. Or, just tell me that you did read the whole thing.**