I miss my baby

That pretty much sums it up.

I was around too many happy kids, running around at our blocks ice cream social. It just makes me melancholy. Luckily, the two babies didn't show up. I don't know how old they are, but all the kids there today are at least walkers. It's fun to see them and talk to them, but sad too. Triple S was making great conversation with the 13-year-old neigbor boy about astronomy, assuring him that our universe may not actually collide with another, just like a curve ball doesn't (usually) hit the batter. The kid loved the explanation. It's just so sad, because Triple S will be such a good dad, and I just miss that he couldn't do that with Serenity.

Triple S woke up this morning around 5 from a nightmare. It's not my nightmare to tell, but it concerns me. I have tried to encourage him to find an outlet; someone to talk to. Good luck getting him to blog. I just got him on face.book - I even had to set the darn thing up for him. His has maybe seven friends, and last night he was like, "Oh...I have GOT to check my face.book." Like it's a chore to be social. At least he has reconnected with some old high school friends. I just think he needs something different than me, but I don't know what.


I feel like crying, but I am just not stricken enough to bawl. If this goes on, it will build until I do cry, but it is torture to have it building slowly, over days. Tuesday will be my turn in class, where my essays are workshopped and discussed by the others. I hope my mood is good that day. I don't want to be crying the whole class, well, actually any of it.

Hope everyone ha a good week.
~a