This time last year 4

A month before the baby's due date, a friend and a neighbor hosted a baby shower, for all our neighbors and non-work friends:


Triple S and I were wondering if the baby would prefer the 'I love Mommy' or I love Daddy' bib.

All the attendees decorated a onesie - they are cute and precious and packed away in the basement.

Triple S was jealous so decorated his own.


Looking at these pictures reminds me of what I was doing, planning, and feeling last year. It is unfathomable to me the difference in place, in hopes, in dreams, and in activities between now and then. I was working full-time, still climbing the 3 floors of steps and pollinating 6 foot tall corn plants, tearing them down when the seed was produced. Our house was spotless AND organized, in an attempt to make room for one more permanent resident, an extended 2 month stay of the inlaws and visits from my parents and our sisters. I was finishing up the binding of a quilt. Triple S was trying to wrap up experiments so that he could take some time off. I was eating healthy foods and abstaining from all yummy things, such as alcohol, raw cheese, deli meats, coffee. Wwe were in the home stretch.

Now, I am just here. I am feeling better than six months ago, and better even than one month ago. The night before we left for Mexico, I cried for four hours. Late into the night. We woke at 3 am to catch our plane. This month, I haven't bawled at all; now, tears come to my eyes, forcing their way out. Maybe I am saving up for February.

I am exercising: Mondays Yoga, Tuesdays (7 AM!) boot camp, um, yeah, the rest of the week- I am working on that... I am working on a quilt, one for my sister, replete with butterfly patterned materials and after that a similar one for my SIL. Too bad if they don't like dragon or butterflies.

I am cooking more and baking for fun. The house is a disaster. I still barely care about that. The inlaws are coming for two weeks, arriving, um, sometime this week. I don't really care, they'll get here when they get here. What are we doing while they are here? Don't know.

I am working at building my own business. During the worst financial crises since WWII. I work part-time at a fun job, which hopefully could pay off career-experience wise, but really might not.

We are on the 90-day plan. I am not happy about a 90-day deadline, but of course, I also don't want to get pregnant in May, because it would be one year from when we got pregnant with Serenity, and I think the parallelism would be too much for me to handle. So, we have a window for March and April, then June. Before, I never really cared when I got pregnant.

These days, I just try to keep my stress levels down and my time filled. I try not to over-extend or over-commit myself, because I am not really reliable. I am going out to lunch with some old coworkers tomorrow. This lunch has been in the works for about two months.

I am letting the days go by, trying to strengthen my body and my spirit for what lies ahead. And I try not to think about last year too much.