I often update my FaceBook status saying things like "{Ya Chun} is blue...". Recently I had this up on FaceBook. My friend from HS, whom I haven't had contact with since graduating 14 years ago, but we recently "found" each other on FaceBook, wrote on my wall "Don't be blue, old friend! Life gets better!" Does it? I wanted to write back to her, scathingly, "no it doesn't, not for me. My baby is dead. She will always be dead. I will always miss her."
I am not so naive. I read my fellow deadbabymama blogs. Six months, 10 years, our lives aren't better. Our hearts are still broken, un-mendable. Simple joys remain bittersweet. Baby showers and newborns still sting.
I wanted to tell her, "hey, I am living. I am out of bed. I socialize. I work (well kinda)." Yes, that's all back. But I really don't see life "getting better"; the reason I'm blue won't change or go away.
So, do you think I should do a private message to her on FaceBook?
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While on this topic, I just love the people that invite me to be their friend. Do they know what they are in for when they see my profile? My "about me" says this: "Mother to one MISSED baby, Serenity. Thinking about thinking about trying again sometime. Later." There is no way to miss it, even if my update status says nothing like it says today: "just "celebrated" another holiday without Serenity." So, many of these new-found old friends never ever post anything or email me. The ones who do post or email all say something like sorry. So I have the feeling that those who don't say anything, don't want to face it. Their FaceBook is for comparing where people have ended up, who's successful, who's a loser, and someplace to brag about their own great lives.
I know who the real losers are, those who can't say a damn thing when they find out my daughter died.
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8 comments:
"I know who the real losers are, those who can't say a damn thing when they find out my daughter died. "
I will carry these grudges until the day I die.
You know, when I haven't talked to someone since before Gabriel died, and they don't say a word, or they say that ubiquitous "how are you" I want to say, Gee, other than the baby who died, I fanf-ck-ngtastic!
Grr. Special place in the world for those who have the the emotional capabilities of a fungus gnat.
I second Sara. It's hard not to keep track of the idiots. And I don't want anything to do with them.
"So I have the feeling that those who don't say anything, don't want to face it." Maybe these people do not think of Facebook as an appropriate medium for releasing such private information. So, when they read your profile, they think they get too much information and would rather not know or pretend that they don't. After all, some of them have not talked to you in years.
Yah, I have to agree with Misha, Facebook is sort of a fluffy, no substance place on the internet. I wouldn't expect much from that genre, even if they could track back and email you privately.
Now, if you put it on my.space...
bahahaha I kid, I kid!
See, Facebook is not so fluffy. Everyone that I haven't talked to for years gets to talk about their kids. Why not me? And, the majority of people, even those I wasn't able to find after HS or college until FB, DID say something.
My FaceBook is all about getting in touch with people and sharing pics. I use the email there extensively, otherwise emails get lost in my regular mail. I don't have any of the super silly apps up.
So, no, I don't accept any excuses because it is FaceBook. These people are jacks (some of them were in HS- haven't changed)
Oh, see, I just use Facebook to poke people and send funny images... :)
and they are total tools, Ya Chun. Not worth your time.
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