Last night, right before falling to sleep, I just felt sorry for myself.
Macadamia's miscarriage has really been a set back for me. That and the vertigo really put a stop to my exercising. Can't really bike when you can't walk straight.
These feelings, along with Triple S' stresses (see below) added up to a me pity party. Then, I started thinking "Is it healthy for me to feel sorry for myself? Is that bad mental thought process or ok?" Gad. I worry if my worry is healthy...
Triple S and I are trying to plan a trip. we decided on going to see the Mayan ruins in the Yucatan peninsula. Triple S has been so excited. We sat down to book tickets, and everything was expensive for the dates to match up with the tour. This was it for Triple S. He just couldn't take anymore. At work, his one coworker is starting to show, everyone posts pics of their kids on the door that he has to walk through daily, and he feels like he has to 'put on a face'. Serenity died, Macadamia died, my health is in the pits, and we can't plan our freakin trip! He had enough...
I told him he could put a pic of Serenity or her name on the door. He didn't think that would really help...
I told him not to worry, and I have pretty much taken over the trip planning. I found a tour company that can take us around the ruins on a flexible schedule so we could afford the plane tickets (well, it's debatable if we can afford it, but we are spending the money). I bought them last night. We really need a vacation. I called the tour company to get more info and to book the tour and am waiting for an email back with details.
It'd be nice if a lost a pound or two before this trip (well, really, it'd be nice if I lost 30, but I am being realistic...). And I hope the vertigo goes away. We are going to lounge on the beach a few days before coming back. We will be there for 12/25, so hopefully being away from the US for the holiday will help us to not cry so much...
We are excited for this trip and hope we can eat some yummy (non resort) food, ya know, like Anthony Bourdain.
***
In other news, I am busy planning our bathroom rehab. I guess I am the general contractor and site manager, oh, and designer. I am trying to do an eco-rehab, so getting recycled-material countertop, dual flush toilet, etc. Gosh, I am busy.
***
In other other news, I picked up a part-time position at a botanic garden- Thurs and Sats. We'll see if I like it.
I ain't doin' nothin' in life I don't like no more!!
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8 comments:
You sure sound down right productive for a down in the dumps kind of feeling girl. The trip sounds fabulous and I think you are so right to take it. When you look back you will think it was the best money ever spent. Always, always take care of yourselves first. I hope it brings some peace and relaxing to your mind and bodies. You both so deserve it.
Please post pics of the trip and the bathroom!! I love remodel projects:)
Oh and yes, it is healthy to feel sorry for oneself, you have every right to feel exactly how you feel. You have had a shit storm thrown at you. If you need to feel bad, then feel bad. There's nothing wrong with that.
Just know if it doesn't ever feel better that there is help out there for you too.
xxoo
Oh sure, feeling sorry for yourself once in a while is fine. I have a feeling you're not constantly wallowing. Most days lately I feel ok but if I really sit down and think about what's happened to me over the last year or two, I feel pretty damn sorry for myself.
I'm impressed with your eco-friendly bathroom idea! Good for you!
Yes, I think it's healthy to feel sorry for yourself. Not to stay and wallow and roll around in it, but to accept that a number of things have happened this year that are not fair. Not at all fair. And it's hard and painful and sorrowful.
I think it's healthy too. Not staying there forever, but denying the feeling just makes me feel worse.
The trip sounds lovely. I also vote for pix of that and the rehab!
xo
I'm not sure if pity parties are healthy or unhealthy per se, they just seem unavoidable in some circumstances. I haven't felt too bad for myself to months now but I might be hosting a pity party tonight. I actually throw a party though - like invite my nearest and dearest to have dinner and too much to drink while they listen to me whine.
Your trip sounds so exciting and it is such a good idea to be away for the holidays. Maybe your husband can put photos Mayan ruins on his door to remind him of your upcoming vacation.
I would love to hear about your bathroom remodel as you do it! Pictures too of the eco-friendliness.
You feel what you gotta feel. It has been so hard for you and Triple S. I am sorry of what he has to put up at work...
The trip sounds like it is going to be soooo wonderful, you have to post pics and details!
oh, and the bathroom remodel.
You sound good, despite what you wrote about being down and feeling sorry. I'm glad you have things to look forward to, and my heart is with you. xoxo
I hardly think you are wallowing... you seem mighty busy. :D Every now and again a pity party can be a good thing... we do need to be aware of our feelings. The good thing is that time really does heal wounds.
Blessings and hugs,
Ruth
Good for you! You shouldn't have to do anything you don't like anymore! Make your own choices and stay strong!
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